FAQs

MY CHILD IS ALWAYS COMPLAINING OF TUMMY ACHE, YET THE DOCTOR SAYS THERE'S NOTHING WRONG. WHAT CAN IT BE?

Children at a young age have no way of interpreting, understanding or articulating Anxiety.  They just know that their stomach churns with the anxiety and they don't feel great.  Their only way of describing it to you or anyone else is to talk to you about their tummy feeling maybe painful, or other words that they may choose to 'try' and tell you how this is feeling to them.  We have a vast vocabulary as adult; children don't.  We need to find other ways for them to tell us what this feel like through drawing, action figures or by seeing if there's a book that can explain it in a child's terminology.

MY CHILD WON'T GO TO SCHOOL AND I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE STAYING UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING TV OR GAMING. DO I PUNISH THEM?

No, please do not punish your child.  Have you ever been so busy that you've lost track of time?  Have you ever been troubled by something but temporarily had your mind taken off it because you've had a chore to do?  This is the same as children and their devices.  They learn pretty quickly that their devices give them relief from the anxiety, fear of school and worry of the next day and can use this as a medicinal avenue.  Please don't take their devices away.  Children may even stay up so late as a way to slow down the passage of time to stop the next day arriving so quickly.  It may mean that you have a more emotional child the following day; but having lived through this myself and choosing between my child having some relief from anxiety (which I suffer from) or being tired, I'd choose relief from anxiety.

MY CHILD IS TOO DEBILITATED TO CONTINUE WITH TRYING TO GET TO SCHOOL. WHAT NOW?

Home Schooling is your way forward as discussed above and 'where possible' (as each case differs) try not to allow it to become a permanent solution. You may find that some professionals will support you with this whilst others do not, but this is your decision. A Link to the UK Government Home Education page can be found under the LINKS section along with Tutor links too.

MY CHILD IS EXPERIENCING AWFUL PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS YET NO ONE WILL HELP US!!

PSYCHOGENIC DISORDERS

I want to add something in here as I am find that this is a re-occurring issue that many parents are having their children investigated for their physical symptoms but then sent away told there's 'nothing wrong' and 'its anxiety'. The problem here is that you have only half an explanation, feel you haven't been heard, re-visit another resource, you're still very worried and you'll only be told the same thing over and over. Here's some extra information about why the physical symptoms occur as a result of anxiety, stress & distress. I hope it helps you:

The correct term is PSYCHOGENIC DISORDERS OR PSYCHOGENIC DISEASE which basically relates to unwanted physical experiences caused by mental health issues such as anxiety, stress, distress etc.

Somatoform Pain Disorder:

or Psychogenic Pain Disorder as other sites quote it to be called) speaks for itself and again, as said, the stress and anxiety in an individuals life brings on real experiences of pain. However none of it is physical so therefore treatments of this nature tend to be unsuccessful as the cause is psychological. Pain usually reduces once improvements are made to the individuals mental health well-being. READ MORE HERE

Another such Psychogenic Disorder results in persistent Itching and is very common among the elderly. There's some basic information HERE : but again its psychological and therefore creams, tablets and physical treatments tend to only respond shorts term; if that !!!

Psychogenic Disorders of this nature are very real and its an outlet when the 'stress tank' is over filling. The experiences are very real however it is sometimes difficult to get the individual to recognise that the issues relate to psychological causes when they are in so much distress with their pain, itching etc and just wanting it to stop. I'm sure in cases like these, patients persist with their Doctors for help.

With regards to School Refusal, it is not uncommon for children to 'claim' they are unwell because they're trying to avoid school. However, when the child is experiencing a severe level of anxiety, this in itself will bring with it a checklist of real symptoms such as stomach churning, migraines, headaches, distress, crying, diarrhea, vomiting, reaching, sleep disturbance/loss, appetite change, self harm - this list isn't exhaustive.

Other Psychogenic Disorders include:

Coughs, Vertigo, Seizures (my son has this), Fatigue (my son has this), fainting, Involuntary movements, dyspnoea (shortness of breath) etc........

Another term used instead of the term Psychogenic is 'pseudo' = not genuine. I hate the latter term as it implies "putting it on". In my opinion, you are not in control until you have some help and learn about the disorder and from what I have witnessed with my sons seizures in the past, he most certainly had Zero control over them.

What is the treatment for School Phobia / School Refusal / EBSA ?

My personal recommendation is a process of desensitisation which is discussed in the section of this website "tools for recovery". However, it is highly recommended that you first of all seek support from a professional such as your GP who can put your child on a referral for Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHs / CYPS).

Can teaching staff prevent my child from using the toilet during lessons?

In the UK, it's generally against school policies to restrict a child from using the toilet when needed. Schools are expected to provide reasonable access to toilet facilities for students throughout the day. Denying a child access to the toilet could be considered a breach of their basic needs and may even be a safeguarding issue.

However, there might be situations where a teacher might need to exercise judgment, such as during an exam to prevent cheating or if a child is habitually leaving class without permission. But even in these cases, there should be a balance between maintaining discipline and respecting the child's bodily needs.

If you're concerned about a specific situation, it's best to reach out to the school directly to discuss their policies and any concerns you may have.  If your child has specific toileting needs such as IBS or is a frequent or urgent user, then it would be best to arrange a discussion with the school on how to best manage this.  My son was given a pass but he said it advertised his issue to the class when he raised the pass to go.  There were also issues with certain toilets being locked in particular areas of the school.  Make sure that your discussion covers all basis.

Can CAMHS (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services) help with School Phobia / School Refusal / EBSA ?

The short answer is Yes.  They will make a decision about which course of treatment is best suited to your child and begin sessions to work with them to help.  Everyone is different and its depends on your child, who they are, how badly they are effected, the underlying cause(s) for the anxiety preventing them from going to school and how well they are able to engage with the treatment programme.  It takes time.  It is like attending beginning your driving lessons for the very first time.  You never leave qualified after just two lessons and when you do complete the driving course by passing your test, you always continue learning.  This will be similar to the treatment programme.  Your child will need to ensure that they attend regular sessions and maintain their attendance to keep up with their learning and understanding.  When they complete the treatment, they still need to practice what they have learned to maintain good driving skills in their lives.

The downside to CAMHs is the waiting list.  I am aware that they have a considerably long waiting list.  You can find out how long by contacting your local CAMHs who will be able to tell you and they will provide you with the Crisis Team number for your area incase of an emergency.  Each area will have different waiting times.

Can School Phobia / School Refusal / EBSA be overcome?

Yes, with work, it can be managed.  The anxiety may never leave altogether as you may find that your child suffers with an underlying level of anxiety which 'could' be related to a spectrum condition or for some other reason to be determined by a professional.  Skills on how to manage the anxiety can be taught by a mental health professional which will alleviate the heightened levels of anxiety your child may be suffering from.  Please read the other above question to help answer this question further.

How to help a child with School Phobia / School Refusal / EBSA.

As with the questions above, you can help a child with this condition.  There are some recommended DOs and DONTs which I would ask you to read HERE as the condition can be mistaken for stubbornness or misbehaving etc.  Try to ask your child what is wrong and ask them to show you with the help of drawing or teddy.  Your child may complain about a 'tummy ache' because that is usually where some of the uncomfortable feelings can be.  Young children do not know how to articulate anxiety, but do know how to tell you when their tummy isn't feeling right.  The problem is that parents misconstrue this to be a tummy upset but then don't understand why the tummy upset re-occurs.  This is because the tummy upset is in fact Anxiety.

When trying to talk about anxiety with your child, look for resources to help bring the conversation and tools to explain down to their level.  Visit the 'Explaining Anxiety' tab on our website to help you.